Pamela Ellen (Gray) Steeves

Pamela Ellen (Gray) Steeves passed away peacefully on June 27th, 2025, after a brief, but courageous, battle with uterine cancer.

Pam was born on September 20th, 1961, to Bertram and Dorothy Gray. She grew up in Plainville, CT with her parents and her sister, Wendy. Pam graduated from Plainville High School in 1979, where she was a member of the marching band. She went on to attend Atlantic Union College in Lancaster, MA, where she earned a Bachelor’s degree in business. At AUC, Pam also completed a minor in art, pursuing one of her many passions along with her studies. Pam then earned her MBA from Andrews University in Berrien Springs, MI, before moving back to Connecticut.

For many years, Pam worked as a social worker with the State of Connecticut, where she enjoyed helping those in need and mentoring fellow coworkers. There, she met the love of her life, Michael Steeves, whom she married on October 15th, 1993, surrounded by family and friends. After spending several years at home with her family, Pam began working as an administrative assistant at Care Manor (later Touchpoints) in Farmington. Throughout her years working at the nursing home, Pam was organized and diligent, and took pride in being a friend and comforting presence to both staff and residents, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Pam’s proudest achievement was being a mother, and her children, Matthew and Samantha, were her everything. Pam was a caring and selfless mom, and provided unconditional support and encouragement to her children in all of their endeavors, including school, extracurricular activities, sports, work, hobbies, and social activities. She was a beacon for her entire family.

Pam had many interests and accomplishments. After years of training, she achieved the rank of black belt in the discipline of Taekwondo. She thrice completed the Avon Walk to End Breast Cancer with her sister, Wendy, which included a two-day, 39.3-mile walk through New York City, and several months of fundraising. Pam and her sister raised over $25,000 for breast cancer research and patient care. Pam had a passion for genealogy and was a skilled researcher. She loved constructing complex family trees, connecting with distant relatives, and learning about her and her family’s history. One of Pam’s greatest delights was discovering that her family was descended from passengers on board the Mayflower in 1620. Pam loved holidays, especially Thanksgiving, and put her heart and soul into decorating, cooking, and welcoming loved ones with open arms. She was a tremendous cook, a passionate gardener, and loved going to the beach, especially during rainstorms.

Pam was a kind, loving, and generous mother, wife, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, friend, caregiver, and colleague, and will be missed deeply by all of those who knew her. She believed in showing up for loved ones, and treating everyone with kindness and compassion. When you talked to Pam, you felt like you were the only person in her world at that time. Pam is survived by her husband of 32 years, Michael Steeves, and her children Matthew and Samantha, all of Southington; her mother, Dorothy Gray, of Plainville; her sister, Wendy (Gray) Wilson, of Farmington; and numerous loving aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and in-laws. She is predeceased by her father, Bertram Gray.

A special and sincere thank you to the doctors, nurses, and staff of the Hospital of Central Connecticut (floor C5), and the Hartford HealthCare Cancer Institute, for the compassionate and skilled care that was given to Pam during her battle with cancer and subsequent last days. The family would like to extend special thanks to Dr. Zhou, Carlos, Lee, Gen, Leo, Gabby, and Maureen.

A funeral service will take place at Plainville Funeral Home, 81 Broad Street, Plainville, CT, on Saturday, July 19th, 2025 at 12 p.m., with dear friend Reverend Laura Galbraith officiating. Family and friends may call from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. prior to the service. Donations in Pam’s memory may be made to the Oncology Patient Assistance Fund at the Hospital of Central Connecticut, or the General Society of Mayflower Descendants.

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